Lions to Lambs and the Parallels of a possibly diseased brain

A sick mind i have and possibly always will. The factors of such notions are ever present in both my waking and unconcious mind. Misguided my thouhts are lead like unyeilding lambs through a potential minefield. I pick my way, so far hardly any further forward but all the while in contemplation of the future. I dream of flying, braving eel-like powerlines that burn until i awake displaced from my bed in a writhing mass of quilt.
I feel like a lion, most of the time, that is to say no one has ever said otherwise. Pulling at the capet under my feet i fall cracking my knees, but i feel alive. For this i thankyou. Again i have come across somone who renders me helpless, no line is needed to drag me down the minefield i do it almost willingly, exposing myself as i truly am.
I was in awe once before and that chance was fucked. Frightened i was and too concious to give myself up. Seriousness is a curious thing, much like it i have gained a wisdom. Aware of what is happening and in some way i savour its taste, i that such a purgatory cannot last and confusing things decend like the ticking of a fat clock, painfully slow.
I hate myself for it but its hard to deny yourself of that which makes you feel alive. So here is my head and my heart onto paper for you and now you no.

Sam